this is just a trailer of the movie (the one I referred to, not the earlier 1970's one)

Did you hear one of his first who raw's? What are you? Blind?

KAL builds on Bishop’s Message for her blog

Karen Lohof 1397

PEACE to you this 1st SABBATH of February 2018

Take it on!

KAL builds on Bishop Ed Callirgos' Message for her blog

by KAL on February 4, 2018                    

Do these three things and have peace amongst your storms.  Blessings and light and love to you!                                                                                                                                   

An example follows below of KAL building on the Bishop’s message for her own life.  See his words follow in the rest of this rectangle:   {  1) Repent- (Seek to improve and grow) A ton of feathers and a ton of bricks weigh the same.                   2) Seek truth- (Be not complacent, do not be afraid of asking questions, do not tire of seeking the truth through prayer and scripture study)                     3) Live the Gospel- (Follow the  example of Christ and keep the commandments)  }

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Make the DECISION to CHANGE, grow, progress n expand:  

it may hearten you to remember that a TON of feathers and a TON of bricks weigh the same.  (However, on your trail -- hopefully not trial,  -- through life, carrying feathers may be easier and less chafing than carrying bricks.)

 

Seek TRUTH:  

overcome any default complacency, ask LOTS of questions, be untiring in desiring the TRUTH through your individual best means (which can include prayer, meditation, Master Minding, your invisibles, your mentors, -- got anymore?  Please share!)  

 

Live your CORE VALUES:

Follow your exemplars and keep your own integrity.  Hoorah!

Do these three things; enjoy PEACE amidst your storms.

Yes, we all will have failures and losses, we will have pain.   We can also enjoy peace and hope, and learn to GUIDE our own PEACEFUL REALITY! (Who raw! as Al Pacino said it in Scent of a Woman!)

 

Al Pacino (playing a blind veteran in this movie) is teaching the tango

A very favorite movie to many of Al Pacino's fans and generation.

Tis a week before Christmas, . . . .

Belgian Malinois Girls

Young Malinois sisters early on a Sunday morning!

Ahhhhhhhhh.  But do YOU have enough energy n all it takes?

Have you ever thought about whether or not you can measure up to your pets?

Who Trains Who?

Trainer Trains Us How To Train Our Canines.

https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/111153935-undo-bipolar-reclaim-your-life         (Where you can read my book as I write)

Look for this image on the right side down quite a ways and dated Oct. 16 (today is the day before Thanksgiving, 22 NOV 17) to     read content I just placed there.

Remember Benna!  Scroll down a few entries -- still shot - hiney.

I had no idea dogs played like this until this last year (nearing two) spent with lots of poopies ( you know them as puppies).

Dear folks,

I know you don't know me from Eve, but I've turned a corner in my life in the last few days.  And, it's a big one.  Towards peace with myself.  It's a gift, for I have sorely needed it.  To the extent that peace is something you are interested in for yourself, I have lots to share with you.  I hope you'll join me in a spirit of engagement and that together we can find ourselves enjoying our lives and ourselves more and more.  Welcome, welcome.

Gotta keep my poopies away.  They see what appears to be an ear, they gotta wash it!    Image: Josh13_Pixabay

Isn't it amazing how such a small puppy can look like a wise old man?

To Accompany Title Change Explanation for my book

It's my observation of the human race that we are all rigid in some area, and also my observation freedom and possibilites are without reservation, my preference. May I imploringly speak the quote: "from my mouth to God's ears".

The process of my changing the title of my book closely aligns with my identity more closely aligning with simply being a human   being than being a bipolar human being.

10 Rules for Being Human written by Dr. Cherie Scott many decades ago

1st three:

1. You Will Receive a Body    You may like it or hate it, but it’s the only thing you are sure to keep for the rest of your life.  Rule 1: You will receive a body

2. You Will Learn Lessons     You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called ‘Life on Planet Earth.’ Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.   Rule 2: You will learn lessons

3. There are No Mistakes, Only Lessons     Growth is a process of experimentation. ‘Failures’ are as much a part of the process as ‘success.’   Rule 3: There are no mistakes, only lessons

Middle five:

4. A lesson is Repeated Until Learned it is presented to you in various forms until you learn it – then you can go on to the next lesson. Rule 4: A lesson is repeated until learned

5. ‘There’ is No Better Than ‘Here’       When your ‘there’ becomes a ‘here’ you will simply obtain another ‘there’ that again looks better than ‘here.’    Rule 5: ‘There’ is no better than ‘here’

6. Others Are Only Mirrors of You:  You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate in yourself.   Rule 6: Others are only mirrors of you

7. What You Make of Your Life is Up to You   Every person creates his or her own reality. Imagine yourself at 90 years old, looking back at your life. What do you want to see?    Rule 7: What you make of your life is up to you

8. You Always Get What You Want     Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract – therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students. Rule 8: You always get what you want

Rules 9 and 10

9. Your Answers Lie Inside of You   All you need to do is to look inside, listen and trust yourself   Rule 9: Your answers lie inside of you

10. You Will Forget All of This at Birth

Somewhere along your journey from the spiritual world to the physical one, you simply forgot These Rules. But you can remember at any time. Rule 10: You will forget all of this at birth

                                     10 Rules for Being Human

Come Visit Often & Remind Yourself to Feel Peaceful!

Some of these rules I'm a little rusty about remembering.  Do you find that to be true for you, too?  That's why I posted the video on this site.  Now I can come here daily and remind myself with beautiful pictures and music and peaceful contemplation.   I want this to be a great place for you to visit often.  Some of you may benefit from visiting my book as well. I hope this will be a place where you feel welcome.

They feel every bit as soft as they look!

Playful poopies, for sure.

One of my 1000 Word Writes

Which Would You Rather Be?

Eighth Day Write 1000 words  October 16, 2017

There simply must be a way for me to get used to not having a mouse.  Surely I can learn to manipulate the mouse pad.  Man.  Who knew life continues to be such a f*cking pain, when it is necessary to learn something new!

It dawned on me waiting outside PIR this morning, on an unsafe concrete bench, (which I reported to Dwight, on the safety committee) that thirty years of being diagnosed bipolar must also mean unheralded amounts of habits associated with bipolar.  Examples already shared, for myself, are being negative, having no self esteem and looking to see the worst in others and things.  I don’t know that I would have picked up on them on my own.

When I say that, my thoughts are, I never saw myself in that light prior to learning I was seen as being bipolar because of having a clinical depression, followed by a clear mania.   And yet, when I knew this man who told me he’d realized I was negative, had no self esteem and saw others and things in the worst possible light, I’d finally come out of my third clinical depression, which had lasted seven months.

Negativity

Perhaps, I cannot find the way to “select”, I think of the word “highlight”, text with the touchpad for now, and believe me that irritates me no end, but I can go ahead and write -- so long as I don’t keep revving my irritation.

This just in from Neville again, and excellent timing for me:  “We   can create a new approach to life.  If you and I would spend a few minutes every day in  withdrawing our attention from the region of sensation and concentrating it on an invisible state and remain faithful to this contemplation, feeling and sensing the reality of an invisible state, we would in time become aware of this greater world, this dimensionally larger world.  The state contemplated is now a concrete reality, displaced in time.”  -- Neville Goddard  

Twenty Twenty n V point out:  The positive thinking approach is like a bad salesman, trying to talk you into something. Contrast that with  . . . .  Contrast that with. . . .             The Feeling IT Real approach to life -- is like noticing what you want to change in the physical world -- then withdrawing to your inner workshop  --  to create what you want in the world.

Neville Goddard -- “Because consciousness  is the only reality I must assume that I am already that which I desire to be.  If I do not believe that I am already what I want to be, then I remain as I am and die in this limitation.”    NG

 

I forget what I just learned SO easily!

 

I have as recently as within the past month some time begun to call my MMIC, Father, any angels that may be assigned to me, as my invisibles.  Everyone is invisible to me, whether they be my best friends in Montana and Utah, and my siblings -- two in Utah and one in Wyoming, my son in California -- because they are indeed invisible to me (except when they are not), which is a whole lot less frequently than I would wish.

 

That really does help me with Neville’s words, which I have read and pondered before, because thinking of my family, still alive and as much flesh and blood as I am, but occupying places on earth where I am not, it feels a lot more comforting and realistic to take daily time and place myself in my consciousness where my senses would argue I am not, but rather where I wish to be, being who I wish to be.  Thank you, Twenty Twenty n V, for waking me up to what I need right now on my path, even though doing so is a repeat for you.

 

So, what will I be doing with this?

I will be taking the current money amount I have been desiring a while now and once I go over again my purposes, I will do my One Minute Kaisen, and then sit back in Kitty’s chair, close my eyes, do my smiling and deep 31 breathes and then just relax and viewing myself actually participating in doing the various things I’ve thought about and visualized before doing with the money and taking the time to FEEL each scene, I will practice and practice and practice into my current world, my current reality, that desired money and my plans for it.

 

There’s a definite price to pay -- to write a book -- in my experience.  I’m simply going to have to become a better person along the lines I’ve been working on the last five years or so.  My return trip Veyo driver this morning was kind enough to answer what questions about what he wanted to do with his life I could think of to ask him, and then additionally kind enough to   listen to what I had to suggest.  I recommended he begin to listen to some Tom Bilyou interviews and then find some Mel Robbins videos.  I love to talk with people about things like that that I feel they can benefit from by my sharing.  

 

I truly desire to get my business up and running.   998 words so Thank You!

A Miracle Love!

What we all can't learn!

Laughing in good fun does bring peace, doesn't it?

Learning about barriers, food, coordination, wetness and being loved -- all in the first few weeks.

Yellowstone Park (middle with water and snow capped mountains) is fifty miles from where I grew up!  Very peaceful!

Guide your Peaceful Reality by Choosing to Live in Joy -- Choose Happiness -- Because You Can!

What Do YOU Equate Peace With?

Think just a minute.  Close your eyes and breathe in relaxation for a moment or two.  It will come to you.  Allow it to come to the forefront of your brain.  Take a brief second or two to create a mental picture you will be able to call up at will.  This will serve you well.

Can you tell Benna's one of my favorites?  She battled her way successfully through two puppy illnesses.

Watch Throughout the Site for my Poopies.

We've all had different experiences with animals.  Over the past year I've had the distinct opportunity to spend considerable time with puppies.  When I was growing up, and also while raising my children, the dogs we had were mostly one at a time, and possibly briefly two at once.  For that reason, when we had four, five, six and upwards of eleven at a time, it didn't take me long to rename puppies as poopies.  No matter how much the output, though, they always inspired lots of love which mellowed me nearly unrecognizably.  I AM very grateful for the time I've enjoyed with such sweet, active, delightful animals.

Time for play.  What?  You need an invitation?  Posh!  Just see if you can keep up.

What's Up With a Peaceful Reality?

A peaceful reality.  Is that something you'd enjoy?  Especially if you could create it anytime you choose?

I have made such a turnaround in my life.  Yes, a breakthrough, indeed.

I'll tell you the kind of breakthroughs I've imagined.  Along the lines of someone knocking on my door and dumping a bag of money, more money than I could fit in a couple of briefcases, if you get my drift; and running off before I could step over or around the money to catch them and find out the details.  Oh, it's mine.  Someone says we know what you've got planned, that's what you need to do with it.  OK.  YES!

But this breakthrough.  It's golden, too!  Better than golden, and better than money, if you can believe it.  With this breakthrough, I can live my life with a heretofore unheralded calm.

Ok.  A little background.  You can call me Eve, if you want.  But the name is Karen.  Maybe I'll start going by my middle name, Ani (I've played with the spelling).  In April, I'm shaking my head, thinking, "where did the time go?"  You see, I couldn't miss that I'd been diagnosed bipolar -- well, then, manic depressive -- thirty years ago.  Seriously.  Where did the time go?

Come the first of May, I decided to take advantage of a website I'd just learned about, and begin a book.  I'd talked about writing a book at least ten years, and the website, wattpad.com, seemed like having a best friend come up to me and say, "Let's do this!"

I've done quite a bit of changing this and changing that and now I'm going to change the title of my book, the entire theme of my writing, in fact; so (deep breath) I began this new website.  You're likely to have the last pair of eyes to see this address, unless I get delayed with my graphics for my cover for the new title.  But, I thought if you, too, happen to be bipolar, or know someone who is, you may want to check it out before I get wild and crazy with the housekeeping over there.  I've got twenty-five chapters written.

https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/111153935-undo-bipolar-reclaim-your-life  or simply go to wattpad.com and search for me, Karen Lohof.  Whichever is easiest.

Anyway, I'll be back a little later to give you the "deets" (details) on the breakthrough mentioned above.  Oh, and if you're  the one with the money, just be aware that neither of the two doorbells work.  Knock!!

Bau Bau eludes four Maltese Shih Tzu poopies.

Not recommending trying to rest in "tires" no matter how "pooped" your body, but always good to consider that aspect when the thoughts are distinctly not percolating well.  Pooped body, not up to par thoughts!

Small enough for you?

I’ve written about this before – about having read an article by a woman who had begun her obituary with, “I loved my life”.  (Sound idea, by the way and I do cop to it being my own opinion – writing your own obituary.  No one else knows your life like you do.  No one else is going to see it the same way you do and appreciate what you appreciate in the same priority you do.  And, have you noticed?  There are some really poor obituary writers out there!)

So, let me write that again.  I read an article about – not by, she had passed, a woman who began her obituary with, “I loved my life.”

 

I liked that.  It caught my attention and it has stuck with me.  My bipolar experiences in life have contributed to my NOT always loving my life.  There are other things, as well, of course, but today I am aware that I can, at least, eke, benefit and good out of every experience in my life.  It doesn’t always seem worth it, and I do try to maintain a tender outlook towards myself and allow myself to put off some of those.  They can wait.  They always seem to be there for another go-round whenever I am more game.

 

The really cool thing about spending a little bit of time thinking about a total stranger having loved her life to the extent that that was what she wanted in the forefront of the brains of those who would read her obituary, is that it can make you think – “where am I with that?”  Could I love my life like that?  Do I, now?  Why or why not?

 

I did begin to write to you “the deets” on my experience that brought me a breakthrough.  That was yesterday and I was attempting to multitask and it got erased, so – fresh start now.

 

I think it was Tuesday, I decided to go to the store and get some groceries.  I say that casually as though I can do that anytime I choose, but that hasn’t been the case for a long time, so I was really trying to focus and not create any undue frustration for myself.  I moved money from savings to checking on my debit card,  I managed to open the car door with no spiraling security system whoops, the new car battery started right up, I had my list and I was on my way.

 

I know my way around the store pretty well and even found something I hadn’t been able to the last visit.  My cart seemed very full to me and I pretty much had everything or could live without it if I didn’t.  I got in line, then emptied my cart’s items onto the roller and as the nice woman checking me out chattered in a friendly manner, I put my debit card in the reader.  Then something very freaky happened.  An amount of about a third of my purchases was taken and I’m hearing the checker ask for the remainder.  What?  And, of course, someone was behind me and already emptying her cart.

 

Well, I can tell you it doesn’t take major huge catastrophic life events to get me “hating” life.  It takes weird glitches like I just described.  Two different people asked me with large wondering eyes if I wanted to call my bank.  What?  Then?  There?  How would that help?

 

So, now I’m holding up the works and in my mind, I’m going to have to go home and spend an inordinate amount of time on the phone with the bank’s customer service and I thought I had done everything to keep from having an experience like this.  Thinking, well, it seems willing to part with a portion of the money and I’m hungry, I decide to ask for a re-ring of some things I selected out for that amount – only to suffer more humiliation and a response “insufficient funds”.  What?  What?  What?

 

Something interesting happened as I walked out the door of the store, though.  I realized I was not shaking like a leaf, I wasn’t quivering inside like a bowlful of jello,  I wasn’t giving anyone the evil eye,  I wasn’t doing any weird, overly loud stuff to draw attention to my woes and unfair treatment.  I was walking, acting and even, thinking like as close as I ever get to sane type stuff.  Wow!  I had feared I would die never knowing what it could be like to experience that!

 

This may seem to you to be nothing – nothing at all.  And, I say “bully for you”!  I can tell you for those of us whose emotions and feelings get kinked up easily by other people and things, who’ve spent way too much of their precious life ruminating on “gross injustices” that happen way too often, this is BIG.  This is a worthy breakthrough! 

 

I’m going to turn comments on and if anyone wants more details as to why I think I was able to enjoy that particular breakthrough, let me know.

Set an intention to have greater experiences and grow from them!

The Contrast

Wrangle | Define Wrangle at Dictionary.com www.dictionary.com/browse/wrangle

to argue or dispute, especially in a noisy or angry manner. 

... to tend or round up (cattle, horses, or other livestock). ... Related: Wrangled; wrangling.

 

I grew up in cattle country.  At least that’s what I believed it was because my father had always wanted to have a ranch and he began with a few cattle.  Actually, he began with a few sheep because rather than go to high school (in the Depression) he was a sheepherder, so he knew sheep.  I have participated (way back) in wrangling cattle.  Dirty, dusty, hot work, and this is just my observation, of course, cattle really pay no attention (or the least little bit possible) to humans.  You always hear cowboys yelling things during a round up, but if it seems the cattle have suddenly gotten attentive, and again this is my observation (this is not a training manual), it is to the horses the cowboys are riding that the cattle have decided to pay attention to.  Horses do seem to be a tad higher on the food chain. 

So, you may think, the cowboys must be hollering at the horses.  Could be, but trust me (if you dare) pretty soon everybody wants to be (and likely are) yelling at the cattle.  I’m pretty sure that’s why I can tend to feel (my body, my emotions, every frickin’ part of me) I’m in a wrangle, sometimes.

Those cattle meander about individually with their heads in the clouds – or somewhere, not paying attention to signals one would think anyone could grasp, and for all the world as though there’s no good reason to get on about anything.  And that is how I feel when I get snagged by familiar negative emotions.  Once it happens, habit takes over and I may as well be a severed head, yapping and screeching about the same things I did a day or two, or a week or two ago.

And, that is the major reason, I feel so honored and blessed by the “breakthrough” I experienced last week.

Anybody can become angry- that is easy !

But to be angry

with the right person

at the right time

to the right degree

for the right purpose

in the right way

This is not easy !

Nikitha Mangu, Analyst at Maersk Global Service Centre, answering on Quora

Today, I queried on Google, “how can anger be detrimental?”; and honestly, I was astonished that about half of the selections given me in answer referenced benefits of anger.  When I came to one that helped me to arrive at an answer I couldn’t imagine ever having come to on my own, I began to look at things in a different light.

It seems to me that bipolars may be in greater danger than those who are not, because of the destructive influence of long periods of clinical depression impressing the subconscious mind of past retributions, for far more time than anyone not suffering such depression would ever waste their time on.  I am no scientist, nor am I in any other way privy to special information about this.  I simply suggest you may want to think if that might be the case for you as well.

 

And, that is why I echoed Nikitha Mangu’s words above.  Indiscriminate anger, as a habit mode has destroyed my own peace, and my contributing to the peace of those about me, to what literally became an intolerable degree.  Contrast that with my joy of having experienced a peaceable response, mm mmm mmmm.  So much more preferable!

This is Benna's hiney shot.  She is a practiced stalker despite being so mini.

What It Really Means to Hold Space for Someone

Has anyone ever asked you to hold space for someone? Perhaps you've needed someone to hold space for you. And, for sure, we all benefit by learning to hold space for ourselves.

All a runt needs is a little dignity, respect, love and time.

I remember the first time I consciously remember . . . .

Getting It

I don't know if you've ever experienced this.  Sometimes I feel I'm going into a dark room in my mind.  Maybe the shades are drawn and another one of me is napping there.  It's like knowing the words or the concept can't really be that new to me and they, for darn sure, don't seem beyond my capability to comprehend, and yet there I am wondering if I might be experiencing some sort of dyslexia.  I make the executive decision it's not that important and I turn my attention elsewhere.

One thing we should know about attention, (and don't we just forget that in the next nanosecond), is once we've mentally gone a few degrees; we have handily, at least consciously,  rubbed out whatever we dismissed so freely before.

I feel quite certain that I had done that several times with the notion of holding space for someone before I noticed enough knocks on my brain to come to a consciousness where I started the struggle to understand what it really was.  It's 21SEP17 today and just yesterday we heard about the second earthquake in Mexico in a couple of weeks.  The hurricane season seems utterly relentless with more powerful storms than for years, and to list wildfires and other devastations could fill volumes.  When I learned a friend had evacuated from Florida to Georgia week before last, only to have the hurricane threaten Georgia, too, it seemed dizzyingly alarming.  What could I do from a state that never suffer tornados (well, only small and rarely), never has hurricanes, in most residents lifetimes -- no earthquakes, whose main complaint is too long and too hot a heat spell?

What I can always do is what I am learning to do.  I can hold space for those I care about.  It's helpful anytime.

Inspired by this great article which delineates eight great tips on how to hold space for someone and from whom the video stems:  Read the article here: http://upliftconnect.com/hold-space  UPLIFT  Published on Jul 9, 2016  SUBSCRIBE 16K

How to Be There for the People who Need you

Shephard sneaking away from the "littles", two brindle boxers and Jai "tiny dancer" Schnauzer

Et tu, Brute? - Wikipedia

 [[Questions thanks to Dr. Jonice Webb]]

What’s WRONG?

I have a fear that feels so real to me, and I don’t want it to happen.  That fear would be that I would not bring my dream to pass, and that I would end out my earth life not having created L I (my company), become wealthy and established cash flow I could feel very honorable about, never lack for a vehicle or a home of my very own, again; have massive fun, freedom, profit and excitement as a real estate investor, written dozens of books (both fiction and non-fiction) from my heart and my mind that bless the lives of others, imbued a multitude of people with the idea to habituate themselves with behavior that implants permanent value of some sort (nuggets, quotes, notable higher vibration, lifelong friendship and love) both bestowed and receiver can appreciate as a legacy given and a legacy received.

Why did I do that?

Why did I create a fear like that?  Some of you reading this already have answers for that, and many of you have far better answers than I will come up with.  I suppose if I could pay you some of you would go ahead and share those answers with me.  How I would truly like that.

I created a fear such as that because it is so much more a habit I’ve established to lean into the fear than it is to gird up my confidence (by shedding my shame and shrunken self esteem) and moving forward with faith.

Why do I say that?

It is now as I follow loving and gifted guidance and write out answers to these questions and my first question asked by my cowering self as to what underlay my fear, I can see the mind which has so often become the body (thanks for the understanding, Dr. Joe Dispenza) and its frantic efforts to keep my life always the same, which in its view is keeping me safe.  Autopilot is not the mode for achieving dreams.

How do I feel?

If I can begin to answer that in two words – cautiously optimistic.  In fact, I just realized I feel more solidly real.  I heard two men talking about how they saw The Velveteen Rabbit, this morning.  That spurs me now to think perhaps some of my fur/hair is rubbing off and that I can recognize the process as was having been one of love.  I desire the end result and am further along in the process than ever before and can acknowledge being more able to pay the price.  I feel that allows me to breathe a sigh of relief – there is an alternative to failure.

What do I want?

I want to arise from having written this feeling the beginnings of triumph, having found that fledgling me so eager to meet the world with bravery and having conquered those weaknesses we all can find within us.  I’ve heard a number of people now, over the length of my life, solidly declare we have all our earlier selves within us.  I spotted one of those cheery girls as I only two sentences earlier so clearly identified bravery with her and I can feel her happiness at joining forces with me so we both can practice bravery in accomplishing a dream meaningful to us both.

What am I afraid of?

There are a number of things I can be afraid of should I be left to my own devices.  However, I am not alone.  There are any numbers of inner me personas who’ve in fact contributed to this dream that rightfully belongs to all of us.  Each has as vested an interest in it coming about as I do.  I have all my invisibles, whose numbers continue to burgeon the more I learn, grow and progress, not the least of whom is my Master Mind of Invisible Counselors.

A Very Desirable Car -- just not a Cadilac sitting on a tank!

You can thank my looking at transcendental meditation with Russell Brand for leading me to check out this version of "getting coffee" with Jerry Seinfield. It's the car I couldn't resist. I wondered if you could.

Awaken Yourself,  Tap Your Reality

Six of the most powerful questions you can ever ask yourself

in any moment are to do entirely with who you “think” you are. They include the following:

1. Am I this emotion?

Peace.  I can’t hear myself say, “Peace” aloud without thinking of Ralph Smart and his announcing:  “Peace!  Infinite Waters” aloud to begin each of his videos.  I’ll share one of his videos on this post and you’ll see what I mean.

Is peace the emotion I’m experiencing right now? Amongst others, yes.  I’m looking through my screen at leaves and occasionally petals (are they heavier, or more fixed?) being lightly tossed in a slightly cool breeze.

A phone call from a friend loving her walk in a park with her dog and our exclamations about having a lovely morning drew me to a monthly weather forecast online.  I’m overjoyed to see the remainder of the month may well all contain temperatures under 100 degrees.  Hallelujah! (You may in turn rejoice you can’t hear me sing that!)

So, Am I peace?  I am not.  I cannot, in all honesty, even say I would like to be.  A near constant rub for me is that I seem to (despite all my protestations) be quite attached to being human.  Perhaps, I am even too attached to being human.  And humans, alas and alack, most definitely are not “peace”.

Let me try looking from a different direction.

 

2. Am I this thought?

Curious came to mind.  I’ll take it.  Am I curious?  Is that WHO I am?

I AM curious a lot.  “It’s all compared to what” is something I say a lot, and it applies here.  Could boredom be the counterpart to curious?  For example, I AM curious about my across the street neighbor, especially when I knocked on his door a couple of weeks ago and explained my need for his help, and he unblinkingly said “no”, he wouldn’t be doing that.  And, so now, for the last two weeks I’ve been curious, does he feel badly (at all) about turning me down, does he ever think about that incident and if he does, does he have any feelings about it?  Has anyone in the neighborhood ever detected him having feelings about anything?  You, no doubt, can detect my curiosity.  Can you also suspect my boredom?  Two sides to the same coin, perhaps.  So, no, I don’t believe I AM curiosity.  And, I can be almost infinitely curious, but that is not all of me, either.

 

3. Am I this physical sensation?

Am I hunger or hungry?  I could see this precipitating a generational fight.  Son:  “I’m hungry.  I’m going to pop some popcorn.”  Mom: “You get out of the kitchen.  Go play some basketball.  You just ate.”

Thank goodness, I clearly AM not my sensations.  Of course, I’m only thinking of sensations I could live without. Now, there are some . . . .

 

4. Am I this circumstance?  WOW!  This question could cause a serious internal debate.

Just for example now, may I refer to my book and the title/url for this blog.  All of that can be tied back to my deciding to write from my thirty years being diagnosed bipolar united with my firm conviction no one has to be bipolar all their life.  And, please don’t shoot me for this, I also believe no one has to be Type 1 diabetic all the remainder of their life either.

I bring that to the fore, because the sciences appear to remain flummoxed (and these two illnesses are not the only ones, either) as to what brings about their debilitating symptoms and can they suggest any hope for a cure.

Thirty-four years ago I watched a dear, dear child, who had just turned eight years old, shrink seven pounds over one weekend, paling more and more under towhead (which is accompanied by pale skin) hair, displaying symptoms I thought led me to a diagnosis (I am no doctor, not even close).  Of course, my doctor could not allow my fears to dictate what the results of his tests and own thought process would ultimately tell.  Now thirty-four years later, he sports an insulin pump.

I am grateful he lives and accomplishes all he does, and his father and I maintain our hopes that a “cure” will be found while we yet live.

The question remains a beggar, however.  In both cases where the illness remains.  Of course, in neither case does the illness define the human being.

Or does it?  One of us is a believer (of sorts).   One of  us is not.  I say that ill-advisedly, of course.  Let’s just take my illness.  I can tell you that writing a book about it (limited primarily to my perspective, of course) has taught me that the term “dive deeper” has a quality I have never before realized.  I have absolutely no question at all that I AM the one who holds me back.  I am the “hesitator”.  I AM the reason the diagnosis still holds.  And, feel totally free to trust me or not, I AM the one who can change that.

No.  I am not this circumstance.  I AM in the process of changing this very one.  I am not any circumstance.  I AM way more than that.

 

5. Am I this body?  The mouldering one?  I think not.  I AM thankful to have it though.


6. Am I this personality?  This, and several others.  Please feel free to comment here.

The Promise I Made Writing My Answer to #1 Above About Peace

This I promised. "Peace" "Infinite Waters, diving deep" Ralph Smart

Louise Hay  (now on the other side) and Value Feeling Peace in Life

              

Russell Brand notes that we all require connection and points out feelings Sinead was almost certainly experiencing as she expressed herself in such a totally raw and vulnerable manner:   “terror  and dread and alienation and purposelessness”.  Chapter 28 entitled Russell Brand  Sinead O'Conner and Observations can be found following link directly above (click arrow most right) then after description (click on read on Wattpad) then follow Table of Contents to Chapter 28.

See Louise's video below:                                (Note her words regarding peace wrap up the video, in answer to Tavis Smiley's question.)

 

So naturally loving, aren't they?

Worth More Than Money.        For Sure!  For Sure!

We all lost Louise a little more than three weeks ago. She was ninety, died peacefully in her sleep. She was nine years beyond where we see her here, so vital, so purposed. At peace then, at peace now, but still influencing those of us who will have her to.

This is Jai  "Tiny Dancer".

Sometimes it Just Helps to See Things Differently

Save yourself some grief and begin the video at 3:54.

Accompanies Above Video -- Seeing Things Differently

One of my brothers and I spoke this morning about how “all these things shall be for thy good” (small t for thy, ‘cause we’re talking about us humans).  And, speaking of “cause”, apparently we can’t (or maybe it’s won’t) learn the life lessons we came to learn by taking on a body (physicality) by having a nice, smooth life along the lines of what we might expect or hope for, and we simply must be poked and prodded and tempted and damned (in terms of it meaning, “stopped in our very tracks”) and irritated and annoyed by how frustrating it is to have to learn something new, or maybe not new, but rather all over again, by not making it in our marriages or with our children or keeping our best friends or any of a number of similar things.

 

I’m trying to learn how to use a new chrome book just now, in case you’re wondering, and it really is a freaking miracle to even have it, and even crusty old me recognizes I should just simply be thankful and happy (ecstatic really) and patient as the day is long, but I just keep running up against it.  How do I highlight and cut and paste?  How do I erase my mistakes? How do I download Vivaldi?  Oh, I guess I can’t.  It must be akin to inviting another man into the marriage bed.  I didn’t know it was called Chrome book because Chrome was the OS as well as a browser.

 

So, such is life.  And, how am I doing with my interpretation of it?  Does this outlook, this attitude, have anything to do with my having bipolar experiences?  I’m not done having to change and reflect and correct, am I?  Do you run into any such experiences?

 

What do you do when you find yourself getting all out of sorts over events in your life?  It’s really tempting to just let it run on out, isn’t it?  Taking a similar route to how you have before makes the result pretty predictable, does it not?                                                                 345

 

Well, sometimes I just think, “OK, I’m the world’s biggest hypocrite because I don’t really want to change this.  I just want to keep griping about it.”  However, I am really having a great laugh at myself because I found a video I did about four years ago and the subject matter is so similar and don’t you know it felt like a big ah ha moment what I shared then?

 

So, how long do we remember our lessons anyway?  What follows is aided by google transcription.  Keep in mind I am the one speaking these words (occasionally altered slightly) in the video above.

 

What if the experience or lesson I think I don’t want (that I may be calling contrast) is something I could look at as a piece of information moving into my experience towards filling a place heretofore needing to be filled at this point in time?  The way I said it in the video was influenced by the Abraham video I’d watched before making mine:  what if the contrast that you think you don't want is a gift of your vortex moving into your grid.

Most of us, though, what we're looking at, is we're looking at kind of the interspaces, the holes, the things that aren't filled, the things that you look at and are looking up to because you want them filled in and you know how you want them filled in and they're not like that so what we're talking about is rather than the contrast that you 07:01 experience and have maybe all your life (seeing that would be my case) as 07:07 something that you could believe that you would rather not have; let's look at it as possibly cued up from your good place of your vortex where everything's stored that you do want and it's moving now into your today. It's moving into what is going on today, so pause it again, question again, ask yourself again, what if it is the grid filling in with the next logical step given the whole who you are and what you want.  What if the contrast that you think you don't want is NOT something unwanted.

If I could not think of something as a test but it's a piece of 09:02 information, a piece of experience in order to help me formulate with clarity that which I want now – “oh, hallejullah”!

 

If a spy, if you're watching a good spy show if you're watching or if you're . . . . One of my favorite authors was Robert B. Parker,  and if you if you were reading about him coming across something that you didn't even think was a clue but he realized could be a clue and he was going to make it something to give him information it was in my mind watching an artist at work -- so fabulous, so a piece of experience to help you formulate with greater clarity  10:00 what you're wanting now, this is key!  If you're wanting something and you have it in your mind, talk about it, you think about it and you sense that you have a feel for it you want to get that more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more clear.  The more clear that it is the closer it is!  It is you utilizing your subconscious and creating with it to the point that you have a dominant thought which you then must act upon kind of like I am.  I have to do this video and then it brings into reality it 11:00 manifests, it brings to life that what you want so since we already know or it won't take but a moment or two for most of us to realize that we are expanding beings, that we are constantly hoarding -- hoarding things that we want; the experiences or people that we don't see often enough in our lives or some people see the most beautiful views outside the window or they step outdoors and they have such beauty.  We know we're expanding.  Don't you think it's time for you to embrace the contrast? Don't you think it's time to embrace also your own worthiness and stop condemning yourself when you stand in a place that you or someone else has deemed not perfect.  Isn't that a terrible habit to be somewhere and be ourselves unworthy because we believe that place that we're in is not perfect?  Those things that you did not want were attracted by the best part of you.  It's an indication of something else that you are doing right on your continuing path of eternal evolution. 

Love, lessons and messages from the animal kingdom.

Gaetan, Pepite n Jocelyn: The love n peace of good friends n the outdoors

The peace that comes when your two best friends over many years are dogs, and the lessons that can be learned.

I call her Pretty.